When pride comes then comes shame;but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:12
Tossing and turning for many hours during the night is a common occurrence. I usually lay there for many hours thinking about a range of different topics. Many times after about an hour or two, I get up and watch discovery health channel and infomercials. Sometimes I resort to taking some kind of medicine such as Tylenol pm, but that only results to feeling even more tired and miserable the next morning. Tonight, I decided to do something productive and get up and write/type all of the thoughts that were racing through my mind about my first day of orientation at the hospital. So that is what I am doing right now at 2:15 am.
Starting a new job for many is a "nerve racking" experience. Cheerfully greeting others and meeting lots of new folks quite frankly is not my "cup of tea". For those rare spunky outgoing folks (you know who you are) it is lots of fun, but for more introverted folks, such as myself, it can be rather painful! Most of us would like to think we really don't care what our peer's opinion is of us, but the fact is most of us desire to be liked and desire to make a good first impression. During today's orientation, the facilitator had us individually introduce ourselves and state the department we would be working in. One by one I heard names followed by RN or some other noteworthy title. Then it was my turn....ummmmm Christy....unit clerk....gee whiz! I felt so inferior and frustrated. I found myself cringing with envy. I wasn't just coveting my neighbor, I was coveting the entire room of people. Good grief, couldn't they at least think of a better title. Why unit clerk?
Here is the deal....I am becoming more aware of my own struggle with pride. Although it is no ones fault except for my own, sometimes I feel frustrated with myself because I am __ years old and still working on my degree. I hate to admit when I don't know something or need help. This is something I know I need to work on. Being content and happy where I am at in this journey is key to living each day to the fullest, which is one of my own New Year's resolutions! Proverbs 27:1 reminds us not to boast about tomorrow, because we don't know what tomorrow will bring.
My desire, as I make my SLOW climb up the education ladder, is that I will not only think about what new opportunities my education will bring, but that my eyes will be open to the opportunities presented each day. Also, I hope I will always be reminded to not judge others by their title. For this lesson, I am grateful to still be at the bottom of the pack. Everyone has different plans and purpose while here on this earth.
There is nothing wrong with seeking and using our God given talents! In fact, I think God wants us to constantly seek and experience our full potential; however, this world often reminds us we must achieve significant "titles" to be considered a success. As a matter of fact, we tell ourselves we must have some remarkable title in order to be of value. Christy, mother of three amazing children, wife of a devoted husband, and daughter of the never-forsaking Heavenly Father should be and IS enough.
Newberry Bed&Breakfast
7 comments:
Wow, that was so real and deep. I love you and I love your heart. Thank you for sharing a tough issue that I also suffer from every minute! Love you!
Thanks for sharing today. That was something I needed to hear. I sometimes wonder what in the world I am doing here. That I could be back in a familiar place doing all of the things that I do, but doing it better than here. Life here is SO diffiult and it makes everything, even things that are easy, harder.
It seems like I am not capable of doing anything well here, but I know that God is capable, and with Him I can do everything.
It was a great reminder for me today to stop thinking of all the things I do poorly and start remembering all the things I can do because He is in me.
Love you!!
Let me tell you when I was working at the hospital and the unit cleck was not there the RNs would almost cry trying to figure out how to admit a patient to our floor. The unit cleck is very important, the floor can not run without her, you will see. You are going to do great, it is fun to work at the hospital, never a dull moment.
...job titles...shmitels...I've learned over the years and the MANY job titles...that a "Job" title can be compared to a title of a book...and one should NEVER judge a book by its cover...and those who do clearly miss out!
I love ya!!!
"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." --Vincent van Gogh
Satan will always try to tell us we aren't good enough, but the truth is, God has you just where He wants you, and He's using you to do the job He needs done. Always remember you're serving Him, not the world. Besides, if someone looks down on you, it's their problem, not yours!
Love your heart (thanks for sharing)...you are very special and smart and funny and ...I could go on and on. You don't realize how inspiring you are to so many...LOVE you.
I enjoyed reading your blog today. Just know that you are not alone. Everyday working with nurses makes me wonder why I am not a nurse yet. I feel revenge sometimes, because I know more then them, yet I can't seem to make it as a nurse. Then I realize I'm allowing others to hold me back. My new year, hopefully, will be one that I make my own. That's one of my goals for this year, and believe me I have many! Thanks for your inspiring words. --Love ya!
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